Breaking News: Iranian President to Star in Brokeback Mountain II

You heard it here first, folks! According to industry buzz, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has signed a contract to star in the sequel to the blockbuster hit. When asked about the particulars of the deal, Ahmadinejad has so far been cryptic, his comments limited to an exhortation to all people everywhere to unite in a spirit of peace, love and understanding. (Or maybe he said "Kill the Jews." My Farsi's a bit rusty.)

Developing...