Iowahawk: New Message from Zarqawi

Iowahawk has the exclusive:

Oh sure, the infidel progressives like to talk a good game. They’ll call you “freedom fighters” and “the resistance” and “Iraqi Minutemen.” But soon as you need some volunteers to take out a grade school full of collaborators, they’re like, “sorry dude, I’ve got to run off some International ANSWER fliers at Kinkos.”

Next, when you string up some smoldering infidel carcasses from a Fallujah bridge, they’re all like, “fuck yeah, screw those mercenaries! High five, man! C’mon, man, don’t leave me hangin’ bro!” But where were these guys when there was dismemberment and heavy carcass-lifting to do? Updating the UBB scripts on their fucking message boards, that’s where.

And please, don’t even get me started about the armchair quarterbacking. They want you to kill crusaders, but only enough that the other ones go home, I guess so they can film the survivors for a weepy poignant Vietnam documentary. Oh yeah, great plan, Field Marshall Von Sundance. I’m right on it, just as soon I FIND A PLACE WHERE I CAN GET TWO FUCKING HOURS OF BOMB-FREE SLEEP.

Mr. Burge is a freakin' GENIUS.

Apparently, the lefties at Daily Kos don't get the joke.